by Kay Heitsch
We had a new resident move in. She appeared to be about 80 years old. When people arrive, I like to ask some simple questions to try and get aquainted with them. So I asked Erma, "Do you have any children?" Erma answered, "Yes, I have one daughter. And since my husband is dead, there won't be any more either."
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
You're Everything...
by Kay Heitsch
I looked up and saw Noah, a frail 93 year old resident, standing in the door way. I walked over to him and noticed he needed his hair combed. I got a comb out of the drawer. After slicking Noah's hair down with the wet comb I gave him a hug. While I was hugging him he said, "You're everything a man could want!"
I looked up and saw Noah, a frail 93 year old resident, standing in the door way. I walked over to him and noticed he needed his hair combed. I got a comb out of the drawer. After slicking Noah's hair down with the wet comb I gave him a hug. While I was hugging him he said, "You're everything a man could want!"
The Lord Provides
by Kay Heitsch
As I was walking down the hall I heard Ruth calling me. I turned around to see what she wanted. In a whisper she said, "My bra came unfastened. Would you please fasten it up for me?" I lifted the back of her blouse and fastened the bra. Ruth turn around and looked at me. With a little smile on her face she said, "Thank you, see how the Lord provides?"
As I was walking down the hall I heard Ruth calling me. I turned around to see what she wanted. In a whisper she said, "My bra came unfastened. Would you please fasten it up for me?" I lifted the back of her blouse and fastened the bra. Ruth turn around and looked at me. With a little smile on her face she said, "Thank you, see how the Lord provides?"
Saturday, July 11, 2009
True Confessions
by Kay Heitsch
I sat down across the table from a new 93 year old resident. We began talking when out of the blue she let me in on some personal information. "This is my natural hair color," she said in a matter a of fact way. I thought with a smile, "Gee, I wouldn't have known grey would be natural at her young age." Trying not to crack up I said, "Well, since this is true confession time, I should tell you that this is not my natural hair color." With a bit of snootiness in her voice she answered, "Well, to each his own."
I sat down across the table from a new 93 year old resident. We began talking when out of the blue she let me in on some personal information. "This is my natural hair color," she said in a matter a of fact way. I thought with a smile, "Gee, I wouldn't have known grey would be natural at her young age." Trying not to crack up I said, "Well, since this is true confession time, I should tell you that this is not my natural hair color." With a bit of snootiness in her voice she answered, "Well, to each his own."
These Are Not Mine!
by Kay Heitsch
One afternoon when I came into work, Martha met me with a distraught look on her face. I asked her what was wrong. Martha put both hands on her chest and said, "These are not mine!" I wasn't sure what the problem was, but later learned that Martha's son had brought in a new padded bra that morning. I told Bill about Martha and how upset she was. Without missing a beat Bill said, "Of course Martha was upset, she only wanted a new bra not a boob job!"
One afternoon when I came into work, Martha met me with a distraught look on her face. I asked her what was wrong. Martha put both hands on her chest and said, "These are not mine!" I wasn't sure what the problem was, but later learned that Martha's son had brought in a new padded bra that morning. I told Bill about Martha and how upset she was. Without missing a beat Bill said, "Of course Martha was upset, she only wanted a new bra not a boob job!"
You're # 1.
by Kay Heitsch
After I gave a little hug to one of my favorite residents, he smiled and said, "You're #1 with me. And I'll tell you right now, #2 is not going to like it, not one little bit."
After I gave a little hug to one of my favorite residents, he smiled and said, "You're #1 with me. And I'll tell you right now, #2 is not going to like it, not one little bit."
Friday, June 19, 2009
Grey Hair
by Kay Heitsch
It had been almost a week after having my hair highlighted when a resident walked up to me and said, "Did you notice your hair is turning grey in the front?" With a tone of dismay in my voice I replied, "Can you believe I paid someone $95.00 to look like this?" I'll never forget the look on her face and exasperation in her voice when she said, "You're kidding!"
It had been almost a week after having my hair highlighted when a resident walked up to me and said, "Did you notice your hair is turning grey in the front?" With a tone of dismay in my voice I replied, "Can you believe I paid someone $95.00 to look like this?" I'll never forget the look on her face and exasperation in her voice when she said, "You're kidding!"
Who Will I Be Today?
by Kay Heitsch
June liked to call me names of people she knew from her past. One day she called me Arlene. I asked, "June, who is Arlene?" She answered, "Oh Arlene is my sister-in-law. I want you to be her today." I responded, "Okay, well since I'm your sister-in- law, how's my brother doin'?" Without a blink of an eye, June said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was doing fine." Since I'm always someone other than myself with June I came in and she said, "Who do you want to be today?" I said, "Well, you know my name is Kay, but I kinda like the name Vicki. So why not call me Vicki today." June gave me a 'Jack Benny' look and said, "Okay, Maxine!"
June liked to call me names of people she knew from her past. One day she called me Arlene. I asked, "June, who is Arlene?" She answered, "Oh Arlene is my sister-in-law. I want you to be her today." I responded, "Okay, well since I'm your sister-in- law, how's my brother doin'?" Without a blink of an eye, June said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was doing fine." Since I'm always someone other than myself with June I came in and she said, "Who do you want to be today?" I said, "Well, you know my name is Kay, but I kinda like the name Vicki. So why not call me Vicki today." June gave me a 'Jack Benny' look and said, "Okay, Maxine!"
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Age
by Kay Heitsch
I was discussing age with Marian, one of the residents at the Memory Care Center. In her matter of fact way Marian enlightened me by saying, "I've finally reached the age where my two sons are older than me."
I was discussing age with Marian, one of the residents at the Memory Care Center. In her matter of fact way Marian enlightened me by saying, "I've finally reached the age where my two sons are older than me."
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Yummy, Yummy
by Kay Heitsch
It was dinner time at the Memory Care Center. One of the residents was just staring at her food. I picked up her fork, put some food on it and said, "Yummy, yummy, for your tummy." Virginia, who was sitting across the table said, "Yummy, yummy for your tummy? I never heard that before. It was always, 'Eat it or else at my house!'"
It was dinner time at the Memory Care Center. One of the residents was just staring at her food. I picked up her fork, put some food on it and said, "Yummy, yummy, for your tummy." Virginia, who was sitting across the table said, "Yummy, yummy for your tummy? I never heard that before. It was always, 'Eat it or else at my house!'"
Country Fair
by Kay Heitsch
In the fall the Memory Care Center holds a Country Fair where they have entertainment, animals and food. I asked Wilma what she liked best about the fair. Wilma mentioned eating donuts and drinking cider. I asked how she liked the donkey. Without hesitation she said, "There's nothing like eating donuts with an ass. Of course, I've eaten several times with an ass, but don't tell anybody."
In the fall the Memory Care Center holds a Country Fair where they have entertainment, animals and food. I asked Wilma what she liked best about the fair. Wilma mentioned eating donuts and drinking cider. I asked how she liked the donkey. Without hesitation she said, "There's nothing like eating donuts with an ass. Of course, I've eaten several times with an ass, but don't tell anybody."
What Did You Say?
by Kay Heitsch
As I walked into the Memory Care Center Flora came rushing up to me with a frantic look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she said, "My toilet is running over and I don't even use it that often!" Stan, the maintance man was called to fix the problem toilet. Flora was standing at her door when the maintance man arrived. Stan motioned to a chair in the hall and said, "Flora, why don't you sit right over there." With a sound of disbelief in her voice, Flora said, "What did you say?" Stan repeated, "I said, Why don't you sit right over there" Flora said, "Oh, I thought you said S**T right over there."
As I walked into the Memory Care Center Flora came rushing up to me with a frantic look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she said, "My toilet is running over and I don't even use it that often!" Stan, the maintance man was called to fix the problem toilet. Flora was standing at her door when the maintance man arrived. Stan motioned to a chair in the hall and said, "Flora, why don't you sit right over there." With a sound of disbelief in her voice, Flora said, "What did you say?" Stan repeated, "I said, Why don't you sit right over there" Flora said, "Oh, I thought you said S**T right over there."
High Note
by Kay Heitsch
One day at the Memeory Care Center we were walking around singing. Martha suggested we sing "The Lord's Prayer" before I left work that day. As you know, "The Lord's Prayer" starts out low and ends on a high note. As we finished on the high note Martha was all out of breath. She looked at me with a red face and said, "That high note made me almost explode out of this damn bra!"
One day at the Memeory Care Center we were walking around singing. Martha suggested we sing "The Lord's Prayer" before I left work that day. As you know, "The Lord's Prayer" starts out low and ends on a high note. As we finished on the high note Martha was all out of breath. She looked at me with a red face and said, "That high note made me almost explode out of this damn bra!"
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Well It's Not...
by Kay Heitsch
When Todd put on his first pair of "big boy" underwear he was checking out the front. He stuck his little hand through the opening. With a puzzled look on his face he said, "Well, it's not a pocket!"
When Todd put on his first pair of "big boy" underwear he was checking out the front. He stuck his little hand through the opening. With a puzzled look on his face he said, "Well, it's not a pocket!"
Out Of Air
by Kay Heitsch
Martha, an over 80 year old lady and I were walking down the hall singing. Martha turned, looked at me and said, "I'm all out of air!" Then she asked, "Do you know why?" Curious as to what her answer would be I replied, "Why?" Martha answered with a grin, "All my air is going out the other end!"
Martha, an over 80 year old lady and I were walking down the hall singing. Martha turned, looked at me and said, "I'm all out of air!" Then she asked, "Do you know why?" Curious as to what her answer would be I replied, "Why?" Martha answered with a grin, "All my air is going out the other end!"
Friday, June 12, 2009
Done Doin'
by Kay Heitsch
As I walked into work I noticed Joe, one of our residents, sitting on the glider. I always try to acknowledge each person when I see them, so I said, "Hi Joe, how ya doin'?" Joe answered, "Well, I'm done doin'." I said, "How's that?" He replied, "Well, I've been sitting here doin' all day and now I'm done!"
As I walked into work I noticed Joe, one of our residents, sitting on the glider. I always try to acknowledge each person when I see them, so I said, "Hi Joe, how ya doin'?" Joe answered, "Well, I'm done doin'." I said, "How's that?" He replied, "Well, I've been sitting here doin' all day and now I'm done!"
Health Nutt
by Kay Heitsch
Each afternoon the people who live in the Memory Care Center are offered a snack. One day each person was offered a cookie. Ruth, one of the residents asked me if I'd been given a cookie to eat too. I said, "Ruth, I brought an orange to eat. Didn't you know that I'm a health nutt?" In her innocent way Ruth said, "Well, I knew you were a nutt. I didn't know about the health part."
Each afternoon the people who live in the Memory Care Center are offered a snack. One day each person was offered a cookie. Ruth, one of the residents asked me if I'd been given a cookie to eat too. I said, "Ruth, I brought an orange to eat. Didn't you know that I'm a health nutt?" In her innocent way Ruth said, "Well, I knew you were a nutt. I didn't know about the health part."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
